2009 - 2019: My Decade In Writing

Happy New Year, folks. As we enter a new decade in 2020, a lot of us are reflecting how the last decade was for us. There were many highs, as well as many lows but if one thing is certain its one decade none of us will forget.
The last decade for me was especially memorable as its the decade my life really started to change. Not only did it point me towards the path of making a career in writing but it also saw me take a look at myself deep inside, and realise that my mental health is just as important as my physical health.

2011 was when my decision to operate this site, and make a life altering choice as a writer came to fruition. I had submitted two poems, and a short story to a creative festival in the Autumn, and the positive response was enough for me to pursue this writing gig further (I can still remember the kind words someone said to me during that day: "You should write a book.").
So, I tried though not right away. I concentrated on poems, and short stories for this very site. What I didn't know was those very poems would contribute to my first published book in 2017 titled "Black Stain of Life": a book of poetry about depression, anxiety, loneliness and heartache.

A pretty heavy subject to tackle on my debut to the literature world but there's a good reason for that; I developed depression and anxiety in 2012, and for the longest time its all I could write. I clearly still wanted to write, and it was a way to still be creative and writing some of those poems felt cathartic. Of course, I wasn't so sure if this was something people would want to read, but after a conversation with my brother we both agreed that knowing someone else was feeling the way they did might help whoever was reading it. Who knows, maybe it did?

That same year in Autumn I published "Trick Or Eat Us". A poem about my favourite day of the month: Halloween. Inspired by such 80s classics like The Goonies and Monster Squad, this poem was more story driven and was big enough to be its own thing at 34 pages. It told the story of a group of friends discovering their neighbourhood is populated by real life monsters, and use their trick or treating rounds to seek them out.
It was a passion project for me, and one I had fun writing.

Inbetween those books I wrote two short stories dealing with emptiness, and longing. "Of Love and Planets" was the short story I submitted to that fateful creative festival back in 2011, and in 2017 I wrote "Where The Heart Soars Into Forbidden Territories", a purposely tacky/chessey title about soap opera actors.
Once again, my own feelings and mental state played a part in the creation of these stories (especially 'Forbidden Territories) but both allowed me to get my feelings out once I had put pen to paper. Though my depressive episodes would come and go (and feel massively heavy), I would still get a huge kick out of writing. It was my everything, and the more I wrote the more it felt like I had to do it.

Another instance that solidified this claim was in 2018 when I finally sought help from a therapist (which I highly recommend). I told her that I pictured myself  in a wooden cabin on an Autumn afternoon, sitting at a desk with a book next to me as well as a pad and pen to write on. Its just me, and its quiet and calm, something I want from life. She took it in, and told me: "That's you, Luke."
She was right. That image I have in my head, of my "happy place" so to speak, is what my mind and heart was trying to tell me. I want to be a writer, I should be a writer, I will be a writer, and finally coming to that decision for myself felt like a great lift.

It sounds cliched but this decade felt like a story where the main character faces a series of trials that test them to their very limits both physical, and mental, losing themselves in the process. It isn't until they accept the help of friends and family that they're able to see a future worth fighting for, and rediscover themselves in the process.
I'm not saying the rest of this story will be easy, as life is full of challenges but, at least for now, I know what I'm looking for, and I know when to ask for help when I need it.

The beginning of the decade I had nothing to my name, except a heap of emotional baggage. Six years later I have a website for my creativity, poems and short stories galore, as well as two published books under my belt, and I don't plan to stop anytime soon.

Here's to 2020. Lets make something of ourselves.

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